Chamber Music

Chamber music can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

Ya I said it. Anyone who has experienced a full-time or part-time chamber music for more than a few weeks (or even less time than that sometimes) knows that tensions can become high during a chamber music rehearsal, especially when there's a strong disagreement on some part of the piece. Who knew the style of attack on a chord could cause so much grief?? No matter how much fun being a part of a chamber music group can be, sometimes the stress of a performance, working on the same piece for weeks and weeks (this especially for younger groups such as the one I'm in), and the constant bickering on how to practice and perform can cause some serious difficulties.

For example, the rehearsal I just came home from was filled with high-tension, and even a few accusations (all accompanied by awkward jokes and cover-up humor to prevent serious anger and fighting). And even if it was a productive rehearsal, and I feel like we're completely ready for our performance on Thursday night, I am stressed and honestly pretty ticked off for no single apparent reason. Arguing is fun. It wastes time, and gets everyone on the edge of their seats. Yet all chamber groups have had their disputes, and this will always be so.

Today, therefore, I present to you some possible ideas on how to avoid all-out arguments when it comes to a chamber music rehearsal:

1. If you stumble upon a disagreement, start out by getting ideas from ALL MEMBERS OF THE QUARTET (very important) on how they think it should be played. Usually this will narrow it down to 1 or 2 options.

2. Take a vote. Sometimes it helps to play it through both ways and then decide.

3. If it's a tie (as it often if not usually is in a quartet), try to find an outside person, musician preferably but anyone will work, to listen to it both ways and help with the decision.

4. If all else fails, each side pick a member for Rock, Paper, Scissors. It's fair, and can settle a dispute easily.

Hopefully this helps any young chamber musicians running into difficulties. None of these are sure to work. In fact, I basically just made them up on the spot, but I have used a lot of them before and they usually work. There's always that odd incidence when they don't though, and you'll just have to figure out a way to settle the argument.

Good luck!!

-Phil

A Sonnet

The taste of sweat; the smell of tears I feel
Amongst the angst that anguishes my soul.
The constant blow of slowly turning wheel
destroys my heart and takes its hateful toll.

The ache in heart and pith that I must bear
Is far from what I trust my soul to take.
For broken and alone is he whose tear
Falls from his cheek - his heart to break, and ache.

We trust in those we should not trust, and yet -
Our love for them holds strong, prevailing on.
It traps us: keeps us bound in crushing nets.
But still we seek our love at day's new dawn.

And in our love we find our hope, our want
That life is more than just a game or jaunt.

-Phil

My Art

My home is here -
A place of self -
It holds the truth:
No faun, no elf.

Deception is not in its cant,
'Though stories told reveal the truth -
The stories of a world unknown,
That is, my home, within its chant.

But sometimes home must fall away,
And truths must take a break from day.
The emprise of my life will take
A thousand years - but not too late.

My stage awaits, my music sounds
Upon the world: the urbs, the towns.
I yield emotion to the streets;
Reveal my soul and all its feats.

But not just feats must I reveal,
Mistakes and pains they must, must feel.
For in my pains there lies my heart,
and that, dear friends, is called my art.

-Phil

Stream of Consciousness Writing - Part III

The emotion that a stage produces, and the performer on the stage produces, is incredible. The energy that can be transmitted from a performer playing an instrument, to a willing and interested audience, is absolutely incredible. It is my goal to be that performer. To exceed in all aspects of transferring emotion, energy, interest, love, and purity to every audience I might encounter. How should I do this though? I must feel all of this at such an intense level that it practically melts off of me, and finds its way to the audience. This is by far no easy task.

I've seen performers do it, though. I've felt what they felt, I saw what they saw, I realized what they realized. I've experienced performances where everything else in the world disappears. The other audience-members around me. The stage itself. The hall I sit in. It's all gone. It is me and the performer, standing face to face, experiencing every note, every pitch, every interval, every chord, with each other. Feeling the same emotions, having the same kinds of energy, feeling the same tension between notes, which turn into nothing less and nothing more than distances between such feelings and thoughts.

It is difficult to explain it. Especially from the performers view-point. For they have one of the most difficult tasks known to man. To share what they are experiencing with hundreds of audience-members, all at once. To open up every pore of their very heart and soul for the audience to see and - if they choose - destroy. It is dangerous. At the very least mentally dangerous, if not mortally as well. Many musicians go through great trials because of the way they play. The incredible revelation of their soul, over and over again, for the entire world to see, can be unbearable. It can destroy you slowly, if you are not careful about it. For the soul can be pure, or impure, and the audience will see it, have no doubt. And they will judge you based on what they see...or what they don't see.

It is a frightening experience. Incredible, but frightening.

-Phil

Stream of Consciousness Writing - Part II

Reality is really undefinable when you think about it. Personal reality even more so. We all view ourselves differently, and we all view each other differently. Why? Because we all have different senses of reality. Sometimes we use the phrase “that person is so in tune to reality,” meaning that person is down-to-earth, and understands what is considered the “reality” of a situation.

But really, can you define reality? I guess what I consider it to be is something that is considered a constant truth, for the better or the worse. But in my opinion, perhaps there are not as many constant truths as we believe there to be. Because in reality (pun very much intended), the acceptance of reality itself forces us to give up the hope that sometimes something unreal can happen. If we must define an unreal occurrence, we could call it a miracle. There are those of us who believe in miracles, and those of us who do not. Those who do not, have “faced reality,” or “come to terms with reality.” Those who do still believe in miracles hang onto hope when there is none. Both could be looked upon with respect. Personally, I believe in miracles. In unreal occurrences. Things that we would never expect to happen, that completely change the way we look at life and, well, reality.

Reality can even inhibit us, sometimes. If we look into the past, though, we see that many historical figures pushed past the “reality” of their situation and reached the impossible, unreal goal. So perhaps, unreality is the true reality, and reality is the true unreality. Perhaps we should look more for hope, and the possibility of the impossible. Maybe - just maybe - miracles happen, but only when we are looking for them.

-Phil

Stream of Consciousness Writing - Part I

Reading in the wind, amongst the trees, deep in the valley. My place of freedom, of warmth, of wrath. my place to rule, my place to sit amongst the other creatures, filling myself with their knowledge and learning. Learning to breathe. Learning to love. Learning to take in the smell of the air, the warmth of the heat, and shiver of the cold. What is this place? Is it an escape? No. Is it a retreat? Nay, it is not. It is home. A home for the heart. A home where I may reside without bother. Where I may write, read, love, live, explore, adventure into the wilderness, become myself. Be myself.

But evil comes and evil goes. Wherever the wind make take it. Or does it itself control the wind? Perhaps...perhaps it chases me. Attacks me. Runs through me, over me, like a train against the air. I am air. Evil is the train. But the attacks cannot kill me, simply send me into chaos. What is chaos? It is what I am when evil has attacked. Yes, as I repeat it again, evil changes me to chaos. It does not destroy me, but instead it destroys my home. It takes away my ability to write, read, love, live, explore, adventure into the wilderness, become myself. Be myself.

Where does my home go? It disbands, but only temporarily. Eventually I can build it back again. And when the wind blows evil back to my home, it will be destroyed once more, and I will build it back once more. Over and over, building back my home. I wish I could, but I cannot call it my refuge, for it does not keep my safe. If anything, it puts me in harms way. But I must hold onto it. It lets me live. It teaches me to live. It lets me understand. I must keep it. Hold onto it as tightly as possible. My yearning for it is unbearable. No matter how many times evil destroys my home, and scares away the other creatures, and takes away the knowledge and the learning, I must re-build my home. Persevere to keep my home. I must write, read, love, live, explore, adventure into the wilderness, become myself. Be myself.

This is the only way for me to live. Otherwise I will die. Not physically, but in every other way. My mind will rot into nothingness, only to act as feed for the worms and other creepers and crawlers of the earth. My heart will turn to hard metal, only to rust and dissolve into oblivion, forming the ashes of a past fireplace. My soul will disappear. It will never be seen again, nor will it exist. I will die. Nay, I must write. I must read. I must love. I must live. I must explore. I must adventure into the wilderness. I must become myself. I must BE myself.

-Phil

Interesting thought...

So during Youth Symphony rehearsal today, our conductor said something that really made me think:

There is no such thing as playing out of tune, only playing wrong notes.

Let me explain: all pitch is just frequencies traveling through the air, vibrating our ear drums at certain speeds creating the sensation of hearing a note (at least to my understand that's how it works lol). Therefore, each "note" has an exact frequency, double therefore when you are not playing on the exact frequency of the note you are wanting to play, you are not playing that note, triple therefore you are playing the wrong note. He went on to say that most musicians don't accept playing the wrong notes, but they will accept playing out of tune, but in reality there is no difference. So his conclusion was that we should never accept playing out of tune, because then we would be accepting playing the wrong notes and that's just wrong. lol

-Phil