Performance

So every once in a while, you get to play a concert that's somehow becomes really personal. You get completely into the music...completely involved in what's going on throughout the phrase. I've only had a very few performances like this. One was at a tiny week-long music camp in Arkansas about 4 years ago. I don't even remember the piece we played, but I remember the story our conductor, Mr. Wadalo, told us about it. The piece was written as a memorial for the American soldiers who died during WWI. Mr. Wadalo, though, had his own story that he wanted to dedicate the piece to, at least for this performance. About 2 weeks before the camp, he told us, his lifetime best friend died. At the performance, he explained the whole WWI reference of the piece, but just before we began, he whispered to the orchestra "...and for [so-and-so]" (I don't remember the man's name). I'm pretty sure in that instant about half the orchestra started weeping at the sadness of the very first note of the piece, and by the end the other half joined in with tears. It was one of the most beautiful performances I've ever been a part of.

Another instance happened at another music camp, this one a 10-day camp, under the director David Barg, a man I have a great deal of respect for. For ten days we worked tiredly tirelessly on Barber Adagio for Strings and the slow movement of Mahler Symphony no. 10, both incredible works for string orchestra. Again, the performance was one of the most emotional experiences I've ever had. Mr. Barg has a strong ability to bring out an incredible amount of musicality in young musicians, and that's what he did with those two pieces. I doubt there was a dry eye in the building.

My list includes a few more stories similar to these. Some acted more as very personal performances, some were important landmarks in my life. Still, every performance gives you something new. I don't exactly how to describe it. It gives you some new insight into life. It lets you introduce yourself - not just your name and how you play - it lets you introduce who you really are to the world, or at least a small part of it. That's something hard to explain, and hard to compare to.

The reason I'm writing all of this is because I had a performance today with my quartet. We played for about an hour. Our big piece was Mendelssohn Op. 80 Quartet (I've talked about it in previous posts). It went extremely well, and honestly it seemed like one of those amazing performances where you become indescribably a part of the music. Especially on the beautiful third movement...by the end I was nearly in tears. Some might say that's embarrassing, but honestly, if you've ever felt moisture in your eyes at the end of some spectacularly beautiful piece that rings through the hall as you wait for every ounce of emotion to pass before you let go....it's not embarrassing. It's passion.

-Phil